i had a good conversation tonight with a friend about being patient & choosing to trust that God will be faithful & good when times in life are frustrating (as we're waiting) or times it seems may be "purifying" periods for us. i was reminded of a Bible study we had while i was at l'abri, where we talked about remembrance... about remembering all that God has done for us/ the good He's brought about in our lives in the past... and how we need to cling to this remembrance for hope in times of despair or when we simply do not see evidence that God is at work. i even said "i need to make a list of all the ways God has shown Himself to be faithful in the past and reference it when i'm beginning to doubt & lose trust again". and yet, i come home to nashville, and i begin to doubt and lose trust even this past week... and did i go back and remember all the times God has been faithful to me? did i even consider it, other than my response to someone telling me He'll work all things out for His purposes- "yeah, yeah, i know He is good & i know He is at work" (knowledge i can recognize with my head, but is obviously failing to resonate in my heart)?? no, i didn't. and, as i sit here and look back to see ways in which God has shown Himself to be faithful in my life- things i couldn't see at the time- i can think of two glaring examples in the past year... but not much else comes to mind past that. that's crazy!! there are so many more examples- and i'm drawing a blank because i so often have chosen to not look back & recognize them (and instead focused on whatever was happening at the moment).
i'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on how we can remember God's goodness & faithfulness in our lives in times of silence? and how can i be more intentional in choosing to look back to see the ways in which He's shown Himself to be faithful in my life? please share if you have thoughts...
love...
june
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
initial thoughts from l'abri (very scattered!)
i went to l'abri in search of answers...and, as many l'abri visitors can probably relate, i left with even more questions. perhaps that's what it's really all about... struggling through, wrestling with, praying about, and living out the questions we all have about life, love, faith. i came away with so many ideas- ways in which i feel God is calling me to live- and additionally, i am even more keenly aware of the things i need to work on in myself. i hestitate to write a blog with my thoughts, as i can humbly say that none of them are unique or genius ideas that've only ever occurred to me. as one of the l'abri workers said, "none of us has any original thoughts anymore; we're all just quoting tim keller"... which i found quite amusing and applicable as God used two of tim's sermon series to teach me tremendously while i was there. with that being said, i've chosen to share my thoughts in blog format because it seems friends and family genuinely wanted to hear what i've been learning... so here goes- i'll start with three things, and write more in the days to come as i continue to process it all:
BALANCE
my experience of Christianity has been primarily just that: experience. about half-way through my time at l'abri, i began to be overwhelmed with the amount we were "intellectualizing" faith issues... the questions people asked were so other to me- i've never in my life thought about some of the things people were asking! which led me to this novel idea: if i want to be useful in the Kingdom, i'd better learn to listen to and think about questions that do not come naturally to my own mind!! i believe it's called "thinking outside myself"- or just plain thinking, as opposed to all the feeling that comes so naturally to me. perhaps i need to go to the far other side of the spectrum (for me!) in intellectualizing life issues, in order to ultimately become more balanced. i truly believe that God is calling me to search for balance in life... of the head and the heart, of thoughts and also feelings... balance in how i relate to my faith, as well as the way i spend my time, my resources, my energy. i'm not exactly sure what this looks like for me at this point- i'm pretty sure it means more time in prayer & meditating on God's Word, in reading and studying, in listening to people's questions & taking them seriously... and to truly consider what it looks like to do everything in moderation.
SIMPLICITY
before i left for l'abri i had to clear out tons of stuff from my condo, as people are renting it out periodically over the next few months. the problem is that i simply moved everything from my place to my parents' or my sister's. as i was packing up i kept thinking, "what is all this junk!?" i know for a fact that i moved so much of my crap back & forth from california multiple times- and who knows if i've even touched some of it since then! this begs the question: what is wrong with me?!? why can i not get rid of these "things" which, in light of eternity, won’t be with me in the long run anyway! and on a deeper level, how much emotional "stuff" have i been dragging along with me from one place to the next throughout my years? what about the freedom of living light- of living simply? have i ever experienced that? doubtful. so, as a start, i’ve committed to myself to get rid of half my junk before bringing it back to the condo. even half of what i have is way more than i need, but i gotta start somewhere... as hard as it is to relinquish the illusion of control over my things, i’m committed to try. i really want to make efforts to live more simply, to change wasteful habits, and to not let both physical & emotional junk weigh me down.
COMMUNITY and HOSPITALITY
life at l'abri is life in community. community: a concept that as of this summer has really captured my heart. i often wonder if in today’s world we could have the type of community with fellow believers as the first century church:
all the believers were together and had everything in common. selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. they broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. acts 2: 44-47
i feel as though i got a small taste of community like this in my time at l'abri. and now that i'm back in the "real world", how can i let this change me? how can i challenge myself to live counter-culturally? my first thought is hospitality. anyone who knows me knows i don't cook. chalk it up to laziness, singleness, lack of knowledge... i've just never done it... and other than the occasional "i'll learn when i have a family" thought, it's never been too imperative that i learn (i know, sounds crazy!). but what if learning to cook- even a few simple dishes- was about more than just me and what i want? what if cooking became more about inviting people into my home... breaking bread & eating together with glad & sincere hearts? what if it's about hospitality and bringing people together- not in a loud, distracting restaurant, but in a home which i'm so blessed to have? suddenly the idea of learning to cook becomes more about community than anything… and that is something i can get excited about! i make no promises to become a gourmet chef (or that anything I attempt to cook will be any good at all!)… but even if it's as simple as a meal of soup & bread, i am going to start trying... if for no other reason than to seize an opportunity to open my home & build community.
which brings me to this question: what other simple things can we as believers do to encourage and bolster community in a culture that’s so individualistic? i’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts and ideas… feel free to post them in the comments section any time!
lots of love-
june
BALANCE
my experience of Christianity has been primarily just that: experience. about half-way through my time at l'abri, i began to be overwhelmed with the amount we were "intellectualizing" faith issues... the questions people asked were so other to me- i've never in my life thought about some of the things people were asking! which led me to this novel idea: if i want to be useful in the Kingdom, i'd better learn to listen to and think about questions that do not come naturally to my own mind!! i believe it's called "thinking outside myself"- or just plain thinking, as opposed to all the feeling that comes so naturally to me. perhaps i need to go to the far other side of the spectrum (for me!) in intellectualizing life issues, in order to ultimately become more balanced. i truly believe that God is calling me to search for balance in life... of the head and the heart, of thoughts and also feelings... balance in how i relate to my faith, as well as the way i spend my time, my resources, my energy. i'm not exactly sure what this looks like for me at this point- i'm pretty sure it means more time in prayer & meditating on God's Word, in reading and studying, in listening to people's questions & taking them seriously... and to truly consider what it looks like to do everything in moderation.
SIMPLICITY
before i left for l'abri i had to clear out tons of stuff from my condo, as people are renting it out periodically over the next few months. the problem is that i simply moved everything from my place to my parents' or my sister's. as i was packing up i kept thinking, "what is all this junk!?" i know for a fact that i moved so much of my crap back & forth from california multiple times- and who knows if i've even touched some of it since then! this begs the question: what is wrong with me?!? why can i not get rid of these "things" which, in light of eternity, won’t be with me in the long run anyway! and on a deeper level, how much emotional "stuff" have i been dragging along with me from one place to the next throughout my years? what about the freedom of living light- of living simply? have i ever experienced that? doubtful. so, as a start, i’ve committed to myself to get rid of half my junk before bringing it back to the condo. even half of what i have is way more than i need, but i gotta start somewhere... as hard as it is to relinquish the illusion of control over my things, i’m committed to try. i really want to make efforts to live more simply, to change wasteful habits, and to not let both physical & emotional junk weigh me down.
COMMUNITY and HOSPITALITY
life at l'abri is life in community. community: a concept that as of this summer has really captured my heart. i often wonder if in today’s world we could have the type of community with fellow believers as the first century church:
all the believers were together and had everything in common. selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. they broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. acts 2: 44-47
i feel as though i got a small taste of community like this in my time at l'abri. and now that i'm back in the "real world", how can i let this change me? how can i challenge myself to live counter-culturally? my first thought is hospitality. anyone who knows me knows i don't cook. chalk it up to laziness, singleness, lack of knowledge... i've just never done it... and other than the occasional "i'll learn when i have a family" thought, it's never been too imperative that i learn (i know, sounds crazy!). but what if learning to cook- even a few simple dishes- was about more than just me and what i want? what if cooking became more about inviting people into my home... breaking bread & eating together with glad & sincere hearts? what if it's about hospitality and bringing people together- not in a loud, distracting restaurant, but in a home which i'm so blessed to have? suddenly the idea of learning to cook becomes more about community than anything… and that is something i can get excited about! i make no promises to become a gourmet chef (or that anything I attempt to cook will be any good at all!)… but even if it's as simple as a meal of soup & bread, i am going to start trying... if for no other reason than to seize an opportunity to open my home & build community.
which brings me to this question: what other simple things can we as believers do to encourage and bolster community in a culture that’s so individualistic? i’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts and ideas… feel free to post them in the comments section any time!
lots of love-
june
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