i've been delinquent in writing. why? because i haven't had much to say... haven't been thinking much... haven't been wrestling with much... not because there isn't so much to think about and wrestle with- there always is- i've just been "here". when i say "here", i don't mean a healthy, active, waiting on the Lord "here", as i've had the privilege of doing in the past... but instead it's been a passive, waiting-to-see-what-God-will-bring-in-a-month sort of thing.
so, what's the difference?!
the difference in actively waiting on the Lord versus passively waiting on what the Lord has in store is HUGE, though it can play out in ever-so-slight ways. the first one- the way i believe God calls us to wait- is waiting on HIM... this implies being with Him as i wait. the second- the one i've been doing- implies waiting to see what earthly manifestation of being with Him He may or may not have in store for me... thus, not being with Him while i wait, but waiting on Him to act.
this difference is quite evident in examining how i live TODAY. yes, it's a fact that several aspects of my life are in limbo right now. and yes, i fully believe & trust that God has a plan and i will see some of it play out in the next few weeks or months. however, neither of these truths exempt me from doing what i need to do today. as i passively wait, slowly but surely, i'm simply existing. not rebelling... not fully engaging... just existing- without even realizing it. it's an "i'm just waiting" attitude that looks to the future and squanders today - with all its opportunities for worship, prayer, reading the Word, being with the Lord as i wait for Him.
i truly believe this is one of the greatest ways satan diverts Christians in america today. we allow him to fool us into passively waiting to see what God will do next - meanwhile, we are missing the opportunity to see what God IS doing now. i guess my hope is that in exposing what i believe the enemy is trying to do (and what i've been letting him do!) in my life during this "holding pattern" period i'm in, that i will be accountable to do what i need & even WANT to do today. i have a choice in this.
if i'm not careful, as i inadvertently choose to passively wait, i will slowly walk into all the things i do NOT want to be. i do NOT want to be apathetic... or complacent... or indifferent... or "whatever". and when i wait passively, i open myself to become these things-- in attitude, which transfers into way of life. this is NOT what God wants of me, not what Christ died for- i know it! i repent of passive waiting... and i ask for help - cry out to God and others for accountability - to NOT fall into this pattern!
i pray for active surrender, in God's power. yes, i can be in a holding pattern in a worldly way- in the flesh... but in the spirit, i must be active. i want to be hopeful and wait expectantly for what God will do in my life, but only as i actively wait WITH Him... as i daily- TODAY- look to what He IS doing in me, around me, and potentially through me. and perhaps in that active waiting- looking to Him, seeking His face, reading His Word... i will unknowingly walk right into His next step... one i never would have taken if waiting in passivity. Lord... have your way in me.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
waiting on the world to change?!
so... to start off, i love me some john mayer. i don't think i've ever disliked one of his songs. even the one i named this post after, "waiting on the world to change"... it's on my ipod for sure. but recently, that lyric has bothered me- the more i think about it, the more i shake my head in disbelief over & over again... "so we keep waiting, waiting on the world to change... we keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change". i know this topic is so random... but seriously, why in the world would we do that?! why would we just sit & wait on the world to change... and think that in doing so, somewhere, someone out there is going to make things better?! i mean, if we have faith in God, yes- there is definitely a call to waiting on Him as we pray & seek (psalm 27:14...one of my favorite verses: "wait for the Lord. be strong & take heart & wait for the Lord") ... of course as believers, we should do these things. and YES, God can perform miracles- of course He can!- He can bring about change with or without us.
but i don't hear anything about waiting for the Lord in these lyrics.
instead, it's "we see everything that's going wrong with the world & those who lead it; we just feel like we don't have the means to rise above & beat it - so we keep waiting, waiting on the world to change." so... what is it exactly that we're waiting for here? for a new president to come & make all things better?? is that where our hope lies? or, waiting for the day when "our generation is gonna rule the population"- so that we can look to ourselves & our own strength & trust that somehow we- yes, WE know what is best- and then we'll make these great changes (but until then, we're just biding our time and watching things fall apart and going about our business and waiting on the world to change)?!!?!
umm, i don't know about you, but this idea really disturbs me. it disturbs me to think that any of us think we've got it all so figured out that when our generation rules the population things will be better. it disturbs me to think of an entire generation- any age generation- just sitting around, waiting on the world to change. it disturbs me to think that i could be one of these people... that i have been, and that i may continue to be, should i choose not to stop & THINK about the implications of doing so!
as a Christian, so often i've been guilty of two things: 1. waiting on others to do what i can do, ie: waiting on others to share the Gospel, to speak of their faith, to build relationships with nonbelievers, to hate the sin but love the sinner, etc. and 2. being foolish enough to think i don't have the resources or capability of jumping in & taking part in change... (in continuing to think about the john mayer lyrics) "now if we had the power to bring our neighbors home from war, they would have never missed a Christmas- no more ribbons on their door"... wait a second- this IS war. there is a spiritual war going on right this very moment, and i- we all- DO have the power to bring our neighbors home from war (spiritually speaking), by showing them the way to Jesus.
in living differently- in making Christianity a lifestyle of love- in sharing our faith- we, as believers, have the ability change the world. "the world" may be our neighbor, our friend, our family member... and we ALL have the tools we need... and yet our mindset has been just "waiting on the world to change"?! i don't want to do that anymore. my guess is that the world is going to keep on being just that: worldly... BUT that God would love nothing more than for me & my friends & family & people i don't even know to challenge ourselves & fellow believers to no longer sit & wait.
yes, most of us would agree, there should be change in the world... and i personally believe it's much bigger than politics & economy & media & all that. it's a spiritual change that needs to take place... beginning here, in America. we- as Christians- must be calling on the Name & presence of the One who has the power to bring about this change! God can & will use each & every one of us who looks to the Him & His strength; who seeks His face always (psalm 105:4)... and, through Him working in & through us, lives will be changed... for eternity. what a privilege it would be to be used by God in this type of world change.
but i don't hear anything about waiting for the Lord in these lyrics.
instead, it's "we see everything that's going wrong with the world & those who lead it; we just feel like we don't have the means to rise above & beat it - so we keep waiting, waiting on the world to change." so... what is it exactly that we're waiting for here? for a new president to come & make all things better?? is that where our hope lies? or, waiting for the day when "our generation is gonna rule the population"- so that we can look to ourselves & our own strength & trust that somehow we- yes, WE know what is best- and then we'll make these great changes (but until then, we're just biding our time and watching things fall apart and going about our business and waiting on the world to change)?!!?!
umm, i don't know about you, but this idea really disturbs me. it disturbs me to think that any of us think we've got it all so figured out that when our generation rules the population things will be better. it disturbs me to think of an entire generation- any age generation- just sitting around, waiting on the world to change. it disturbs me to think that i could be one of these people... that i have been, and that i may continue to be, should i choose not to stop & THINK about the implications of doing so!
as a Christian, so often i've been guilty of two things: 1. waiting on others to do what i can do, ie: waiting on others to share the Gospel, to speak of their faith, to build relationships with nonbelievers, to hate the sin but love the sinner, etc. and 2. being foolish enough to think i don't have the resources or capability of jumping in & taking part in change... (in continuing to think about the john mayer lyrics) "now if we had the power to bring our neighbors home from war, they would have never missed a Christmas- no more ribbons on their door"... wait a second- this IS war. there is a spiritual war going on right this very moment, and i- we all- DO have the power to bring our neighbors home from war (spiritually speaking), by showing them the way to Jesus.
in living differently- in making Christianity a lifestyle of love- in sharing our faith- we, as believers, have the ability change the world. "the world" may be our neighbor, our friend, our family member... and we ALL have the tools we need... and yet our mindset has been just "waiting on the world to change"?! i don't want to do that anymore. my guess is that the world is going to keep on being just that: worldly... BUT that God would love nothing more than for me & my friends & family & people i don't even know to challenge ourselves & fellow believers to no longer sit & wait.
yes, most of us would agree, there should be change in the world... and i personally believe it's much bigger than politics & economy & media & all that. it's a spiritual change that needs to take place... beginning here, in America. we- as Christians- must be calling on the Name & presence of the One who has the power to bring about this change! God can & will use each & every one of us who looks to the Him & His strength; who seeks His face always (psalm 105:4)... and, through Him working in & through us, lives will be changed... for eternity. what a privilege it would be to be used by God in this type of world change.
Friday, November 7, 2008
the Son shines not on us, but in us
i bought some cards when i was in junior high or maybe high school... blank inside, & on the outside they read "the sun shines not on us, but in us". i probably wrote some of you letters on those cards (back in the days before email!). i loved those cards- i loved the quote on the outside (speaking of- man, i used to love quotes! i even started a quote book in high school... i digress) - but i always wished the quote read, "the Son shines not on us, but in us" because i thought, as a Christian, that'd be so much cooler of a quote.
for some reason that saying has been floating around in my head recently. if, in fact, the Son shines not on us, but in us... what does that mean for our daily lives? for starters, i'm guessing it means that God/ His Son/ the Holy Spirit do not exist simply for my life to be "better". that it's not about Him shining down on me, making my life all happy and good and easy, and for my own glory. sure, in some seasons of life, that may be the case- the happy, good, easy part- as one of God's many blessings. but not for my own glory.
if, in fact, i am blessed by God, it's about something greater- something outside myself. He shines not on me, but IN me. and if He shines IN me, i will radiate. i will glow. and if i am glowing, and shining, others will notice. they will wonder- "what is it that's different about this person?" and, if they wonder, i can testify- "the Son shines not on me, but in me". God does not exist simply for me to be blessed, but as a result of His blessing, i am to bless others. as a tim keller sermon i listened to at l'abri says, "i am, therefore i be." i am forgiven, therefore i can't help but act- which is so counter-intuitive, so opposite of pretty much everything we learn in our culture today (and opposite of what other religions teach). we learn, "i be (i do certain things, act a certain way, climb to the top of a certain ladder, etc)... then, as a result, i am (accepted, loved, established, etc)": this is the worldly way. but this is not why Christ came; He came to accept, love, establish who we are, and because of that- we are compelled to action.
was i forgiven, loved, accepted so that i could just lie here in the Son-light of God's mercy and soak it all in and that's it? is it all about me/ my life/ my "happiness"? NO. He shines IN me not on me. i am not blessed by God's eternal blessings- forgiveness, love, acceptance, - and also so many worldly blessings - so that i can simply bask in them and figure i must have done something right in order to receive them. i am blessed to be a blessing. i'm just reminding myself of this, as it's so easy to get caught up in what i want, my happiness, my life: me, me, me. that's not why Christ came! by God's grace, i am blessed (which i am, even when i don't choose to see it! His saving me is blessing enough!); IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. it's about so much more than just me.
my prayer is that i'd hold onto this truth day in & day out: it's not about me. that myself, and all believers, would be compelled to "be" out of a heart-change... basking in the glory of the Son shining in, and therefore through us... as we are blessed- to be a blessing.
for some reason that saying has been floating around in my head recently. if, in fact, the Son shines not on us, but in us... what does that mean for our daily lives? for starters, i'm guessing it means that God/ His Son/ the Holy Spirit do not exist simply for my life to be "better". that it's not about Him shining down on me, making my life all happy and good and easy, and for my own glory. sure, in some seasons of life, that may be the case- the happy, good, easy part- as one of God's many blessings. but not for my own glory.
if, in fact, i am blessed by God, it's about something greater- something outside myself. He shines not on me, but IN me. and if He shines IN me, i will radiate. i will glow. and if i am glowing, and shining, others will notice. they will wonder- "what is it that's different about this person?" and, if they wonder, i can testify- "the Son shines not on me, but in me". God does not exist simply for me to be blessed, but as a result of His blessing, i am to bless others. as a tim keller sermon i listened to at l'abri says, "i am, therefore i be." i am forgiven, therefore i can't help but act- which is so counter-intuitive, so opposite of pretty much everything we learn in our culture today (and opposite of what other religions teach). we learn, "i be (i do certain things, act a certain way, climb to the top of a certain ladder, etc)... then, as a result, i am (accepted, loved, established, etc)": this is the worldly way. but this is not why Christ came; He came to accept, love, establish who we are, and because of that- we are compelled to action.
was i forgiven, loved, accepted so that i could just lie here in the Son-light of God's mercy and soak it all in and that's it? is it all about me/ my life/ my "happiness"? NO. He shines IN me not on me. i am not blessed by God's eternal blessings- forgiveness, love, acceptance, - and also so many worldly blessings - so that i can simply bask in them and figure i must have done something right in order to receive them. i am blessed to be a blessing. i'm just reminding myself of this, as it's so easy to get caught up in what i want, my happiness, my life: me, me, me. that's not why Christ came! by God's grace, i am blessed (which i am, even when i don't choose to see it! His saving me is blessing enough!); IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. it's about so much more than just me.
my prayer is that i'd hold onto this truth day in & day out: it's not about me. that myself, and all believers, would be compelled to "be" out of a heart-change... basking in the glory of the Son shining in, and therefore through us... as we are blessed- to be a blessing.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
remembrance
i had a good conversation tonight with a friend about being patient & choosing to trust that God will be faithful & good when times in life are frustrating (as we're waiting) or times it seems may be "purifying" periods for us. i was reminded of a Bible study we had while i was at l'abri, where we talked about remembrance... about remembering all that God has done for us/ the good He's brought about in our lives in the past... and how we need to cling to this remembrance for hope in times of despair or when we simply do not see evidence that God is at work. i even said "i need to make a list of all the ways God has shown Himself to be faithful in the past and reference it when i'm beginning to doubt & lose trust again". and yet, i come home to nashville, and i begin to doubt and lose trust even this past week... and did i go back and remember all the times God has been faithful to me? did i even consider it, other than my response to someone telling me He'll work all things out for His purposes- "yeah, yeah, i know He is good & i know He is at work" (knowledge i can recognize with my head, but is obviously failing to resonate in my heart)?? no, i didn't. and, as i sit here and look back to see ways in which God has shown Himself to be faithful in my life- things i couldn't see at the time- i can think of two glaring examples in the past year... but not much else comes to mind past that. that's crazy!! there are so many more examples- and i'm drawing a blank because i so often have chosen to not look back & recognize them (and instead focused on whatever was happening at the moment).
i'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on how we can remember God's goodness & faithfulness in our lives in times of silence? and how can i be more intentional in choosing to look back to see the ways in which He's shown Himself to be faithful in my life? please share if you have thoughts...
love...
june
i'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on how we can remember God's goodness & faithfulness in our lives in times of silence? and how can i be more intentional in choosing to look back to see the ways in which He's shown Himself to be faithful in my life? please share if you have thoughts...
love...
june
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
initial thoughts from l'abri (very scattered!)
i went to l'abri in search of answers...and, as many l'abri visitors can probably relate, i left with even more questions. perhaps that's what it's really all about... struggling through, wrestling with, praying about, and living out the questions we all have about life, love, faith. i came away with so many ideas- ways in which i feel God is calling me to live- and additionally, i am even more keenly aware of the things i need to work on in myself. i hestitate to write a blog with my thoughts, as i can humbly say that none of them are unique or genius ideas that've only ever occurred to me. as one of the l'abri workers said, "none of us has any original thoughts anymore; we're all just quoting tim keller"... which i found quite amusing and applicable as God used two of tim's sermon series to teach me tremendously while i was there. with that being said, i've chosen to share my thoughts in blog format because it seems friends and family genuinely wanted to hear what i've been learning... so here goes- i'll start with three things, and write more in the days to come as i continue to process it all:
BALANCE
my experience of Christianity has been primarily just that: experience. about half-way through my time at l'abri, i began to be overwhelmed with the amount we were "intellectualizing" faith issues... the questions people asked were so other to me- i've never in my life thought about some of the things people were asking! which led me to this novel idea: if i want to be useful in the Kingdom, i'd better learn to listen to and think about questions that do not come naturally to my own mind!! i believe it's called "thinking outside myself"- or just plain thinking, as opposed to all the feeling that comes so naturally to me. perhaps i need to go to the far other side of the spectrum (for me!) in intellectualizing life issues, in order to ultimately become more balanced. i truly believe that God is calling me to search for balance in life... of the head and the heart, of thoughts and also feelings... balance in how i relate to my faith, as well as the way i spend my time, my resources, my energy. i'm not exactly sure what this looks like for me at this point- i'm pretty sure it means more time in prayer & meditating on God's Word, in reading and studying, in listening to people's questions & taking them seriously... and to truly consider what it looks like to do everything in moderation.
SIMPLICITY
before i left for l'abri i had to clear out tons of stuff from my condo, as people are renting it out periodically over the next few months. the problem is that i simply moved everything from my place to my parents' or my sister's. as i was packing up i kept thinking, "what is all this junk!?" i know for a fact that i moved so much of my crap back & forth from california multiple times- and who knows if i've even touched some of it since then! this begs the question: what is wrong with me?!? why can i not get rid of these "things" which, in light of eternity, won’t be with me in the long run anyway! and on a deeper level, how much emotional "stuff" have i been dragging along with me from one place to the next throughout my years? what about the freedom of living light- of living simply? have i ever experienced that? doubtful. so, as a start, i’ve committed to myself to get rid of half my junk before bringing it back to the condo. even half of what i have is way more than i need, but i gotta start somewhere... as hard as it is to relinquish the illusion of control over my things, i’m committed to try. i really want to make efforts to live more simply, to change wasteful habits, and to not let both physical & emotional junk weigh me down.
COMMUNITY and HOSPITALITY
life at l'abri is life in community. community: a concept that as of this summer has really captured my heart. i often wonder if in today’s world we could have the type of community with fellow believers as the first century church:
all the believers were together and had everything in common. selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. they broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. acts 2: 44-47
i feel as though i got a small taste of community like this in my time at l'abri. and now that i'm back in the "real world", how can i let this change me? how can i challenge myself to live counter-culturally? my first thought is hospitality. anyone who knows me knows i don't cook. chalk it up to laziness, singleness, lack of knowledge... i've just never done it... and other than the occasional "i'll learn when i have a family" thought, it's never been too imperative that i learn (i know, sounds crazy!). but what if learning to cook- even a few simple dishes- was about more than just me and what i want? what if cooking became more about inviting people into my home... breaking bread & eating together with glad & sincere hearts? what if it's about hospitality and bringing people together- not in a loud, distracting restaurant, but in a home which i'm so blessed to have? suddenly the idea of learning to cook becomes more about community than anything… and that is something i can get excited about! i make no promises to become a gourmet chef (or that anything I attempt to cook will be any good at all!)… but even if it's as simple as a meal of soup & bread, i am going to start trying... if for no other reason than to seize an opportunity to open my home & build community.
which brings me to this question: what other simple things can we as believers do to encourage and bolster community in a culture that’s so individualistic? i’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts and ideas… feel free to post them in the comments section any time!
lots of love-
june
BALANCE
my experience of Christianity has been primarily just that: experience. about half-way through my time at l'abri, i began to be overwhelmed with the amount we were "intellectualizing" faith issues... the questions people asked were so other to me- i've never in my life thought about some of the things people were asking! which led me to this novel idea: if i want to be useful in the Kingdom, i'd better learn to listen to and think about questions that do not come naturally to my own mind!! i believe it's called "thinking outside myself"- or just plain thinking, as opposed to all the feeling that comes so naturally to me. perhaps i need to go to the far other side of the spectrum (for me!) in intellectualizing life issues, in order to ultimately become more balanced. i truly believe that God is calling me to search for balance in life... of the head and the heart, of thoughts and also feelings... balance in how i relate to my faith, as well as the way i spend my time, my resources, my energy. i'm not exactly sure what this looks like for me at this point- i'm pretty sure it means more time in prayer & meditating on God's Word, in reading and studying, in listening to people's questions & taking them seriously... and to truly consider what it looks like to do everything in moderation.
SIMPLICITY
before i left for l'abri i had to clear out tons of stuff from my condo, as people are renting it out periodically over the next few months. the problem is that i simply moved everything from my place to my parents' or my sister's. as i was packing up i kept thinking, "what is all this junk!?" i know for a fact that i moved so much of my crap back & forth from california multiple times- and who knows if i've even touched some of it since then! this begs the question: what is wrong with me?!? why can i not get rid of these "things" which, in light of eternity, won’t be with me in the long run anyway! and on a deeper level, how much emotional "stuff" have i been dragging along with me from one place to the next throughout my years? what about the freedom of living light- of living simply? have i ever experienced that? doubtful. so, as a start, i’ve committed to myself to get rid of half my junk before bringing it back to the condo. even half of what i have is way more than i need, but i gotta start somewhere... as hard as it is to relinquish the illusion of control over my things, i’m committed to try. i really want to make efforts to live more simply, to change wasteful habits, and to not let both physical & emotional junk weigh me down.
COMMUNITY and HOSPITALITY
life at l'abri is life in community. community: a concept that as of this summer has really captured my heart. i often wonder if in today’s world we could have the type of community with fellow believers as the first century church:
all the believers were together and had everything in common. selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. they broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. acts 2: 44-47
i feel as though i got a small taste of community like this in my time at l'abri. and now that i'm back in the "real world", how can i let this change me? how can i challenge myself to live counter-culturally? my first thought is hospitality. anyone who knows me knows i don't cook. chalk it up to laziness, singleness, lack of knowledge... i've just never done it... and other than the occasional "i'll learn when i have a family" thought, it's never been too imperative that i learn (i know, sounds crazy!). but what if learning to cook- even a few simple dishes- was about more than just me and what i want? what if cooking became more about inviting people into my home... breaking bread & eating together with glad & sincere hearts? what if it's about hospitality and bringing people together- not in a loud, distracting restaurant, but in a home which i'm so blessed to have? suddenly the idea of learning to cook becomes more about community than anything… and that is something i can get excited about! i make no promises to become a gourmet chef (or that anything I attempt to cook will be any good at all!)… but even if it's as simple as a meal of soup & bread, i am going to start trying... if for no other reason than to seize an opportunity to open my home & build community.
which brings me to this question: what other simple things can we as believers do to encourage and bolster community in a culture that’s so individualistic? i’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts and ideas… feel free to post them in the comments section any time!
lots of love-
june
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