Wednesday, October 22, 2008

initial thoughts from l'abri (very scattered!)

i went to l'abri in search of answers...and, as many l'abri visitors can probably relate, i left with even more questions. perhaps that's what it's really all about... struggling through, wrestling with, praying about, and living out the questions we all have about life, love, faith. i came away with so many ideas- ways in which i feel God is calling me to live- and additionally, i am even more keenly aware of the things i need to work on in myself. i hestitate to write a blog with my thoughts, as i can humbly say that none of them are unique or genius ideas that've only ever occurred to me. as one of the l'abri workers said, "none of us has any original thoughts anymore; we're all just quoting tim keller"... which i found quite amusing and applicable as God used two of tim's sermon series to teach me tremendously while i was there. with that being said, i've chosen to share my thoughts in blog format because it seems friends and family genuinely wanted to hear what i've been learning... so here goes- i'll start with three things, and write more in the days to come as i continue to process it all:

BALANCE
my experience of Christianity has been primarily just that: experience. about half-way through my time at l'abri, i began to be overwhelmed with the amount we were "intellectualizing" faith issues... the questions people asked were so other to me- i've never in my life thought about some of the things people were asking! which led me to this novel idea: if i want to be useful in the Kingdom, i'd better learn to listen to and think about questions that do not come naturally to my own mind!! i believe it's called "thinking outside myself"- or just plain thinking, as opposed to all the feeling that comes so naturally to me. perhaps i need to go to the far other side of the spectrum (for me!) in intellectualizing life issues, in order to ultimately become more balanced. i truly believe that God is calling me to search for balance in life... of the head and the heart, of thoughts and also feelings... balance in how i relate to my faith, as well as the way i spend my time, my resources, my energy. i'm not exactly sure what this looks like for me at this point- i'm pretty sure it means more time in prayer & meditating on God's Word, in reading and studying, in listening to people's questions & taking them seriously... and to truly consider what it looks like to do everything in moderation.

SIMPLICITY
before i left for l'abri i had to clear out tons of stuff from my condo, as people are renting it out periodically over the next few months. the problem is that i simply moved everything from my place to my parents' or my sister's. as i was packing up i kept thinking, "what is all this junk!?" i know for a fact that i moved so much of my crap back & forth from california multiple times- and who knows if i've even touched some of it since then! this begs the question: what is wrong with me?!? why can i not get rid of these "things" which, in light of eternity, won’t be with me in the long run anyway! and on a deeper level, how much emotional "stuff" have i been dragging along with me from one place to the next throughout my years? what about the freedom of living light- of living simply? have i ever experienced that? doubtful. so, as a start, i’ve committed to myself to get rid of half my junk before bringing it back to the condo. even half of what i have is way more than i need, but i gotta start somewhere... as hard as it is to relinquish the illusion of control over my things, i’m committed to try. i really want to make efforts to live more simply, to change wasteful habits, and to not let both physical & emotional junk weigh me down.

COMMUNITY and HOSPITALITY
life at l'abri is life in community. community: a concept that as of this summer has really captured my heart. i often wonder if in today’s world we could have the type of community with fellow believers as the first century church:
all the believers were together and had everything in common. selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. they broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. acts 2: 44-47

i feel as though i got a small taste of community like this in my time at l'abri. and now that i'm back in the "real world", how can i let this change me? how can i challenge myself to live counter-culturally? my first thought is hospitality. anyone who knows me knows i don't cook. chalk it up to laziness, singleness, lack of knowledge... i've just never done it... and other than the occasional "i'll learn when i have a family" thought, it's never been too imperative that i learn (i know, sounds crazy!). but what if learning to cook- even a few simple dishes- was about more than just me and what i want? what if cooking became more about inviting people into my home... breaking bread & eating together with glad & sincere hearts? what if it's about hospitality and bringing people together- not in a loud, distracting restaurant, but in a home which i'm so blessed to have? suddenly the idea of learning to cook becomes more about community than anything… and that is something i can get excited about! i make no promises to become a gourmet chef (or that anything I attempt to cook will be any good at all!)… but even if it's as simple as a meal of soup & bread, i am going to start trying... if for no other reason than to seize an opportunity to open my home & build community.

which brings me to this question: what other simple things can we as believers do to encourage and bolster community in a culture that’s so individualistic? i’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts and ideas… feel free to post them in the comments section any time!

lots of love-
june

2 comments:

CDM said...

June,
Your writing is honest and therefore powerfull and penetrating. It stimulated these meditations.

Concerning God's hand in our past...it seems that our very existence is testimony to the love and work of our heavenly Father. Our
personality, our gifts, even our experiences of darkness, without which
we would not appreciate the light, all call us to His existence and
love.

David is so honest in Ps 143:4-5 .."So my spirit grows faint within me; my
heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I
meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done."

The King, a Messianic figure, struggled with his daily view of God and the world. Today we would suggest he had bouts of paranoia, anxiety and depression. The King's response was always...

"but my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign Lord; in you I take
refuge...(141:8).

Trust is a verb, as you said so well, June.
God is our hiding place, even when we do not feel his comfort and
covering. The past, present and future are bound within His existence.
Because He exists, we are. We cannot escape His presence and love. The
darkness reveals the light and also causes us to lean into the light. All is bound in Him.

Jesus experienced all this and more and is now at the Father's right hand telling him what it is like to live life with all it's complex joys and challenges.

Blessings!

Dwight

Anonymous said...

love your thoughts. i don't cook either, until i started inviting people over to cook with me, and then eating together.